Creating a sense of family can be a real challenge if you are called to a church that has had numerous youth pastors over the last several years.  I had this very real challenge when I began my ministry in Rockford, IL and then again here in Atlanta.

The first step in creating a sense of family in this environment is to not make promises you don’t intend to keep.  I didn’t promise them that I was going to be there forever, but I did say, “I know what you’ve gone through here (and I said the elephant in the room) I understand you don’t want to trust anybody because everybody leaves so quickly and they probably all promised they weren’t going to leave.  All I’m telling you is, you have my word, I’m here for a whole lot longer than they stayed.  I can’t promise you I’m never going to leave, but I think I can comfortably promise you “x,” years” (whatever that is for you).  To some of my kids I just promised them I would be there until they graduated high school.  I was in Rockford for 13 years and now in Atlanta for 6.

Then gather your key influencers at a “Paul Revere” meeting because they will help turn the acceptance and trust level of you much quicker.  You need to realize that it’s going to probably take 18 months for you to begin to feel accepted.  Your task is to just keep not taking the rejection personally and that’s really hard, but keep reaching out.  If you earn their hearts and their trust and you say the elephant in the room you will eventually be able to create a warm “youth family” for your kids.